Torn
by Ash M. Knight
Summary: Dick Grayson has to make a painful choice between Jason and Barb. One-shot.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, this is kind of just a smutty little one-shot that popped into my head, so I wrote it. Probably not great... but here it is anyway. Please feel free to comment and review (politely, please)! Not my best work but I figured I'd put it out there to see if anyone enjoyed it.**

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Dick Grayson's heart stopped as he slumped over his lover's back, bracing himself with his palms pressed into the mattress on either side of the young man's body. He'd come too fast. He always came too fast. Jason had told him that he didn't mind, that it was fine, and that he understood, but it didn't make him feel any less humiliated as he shot hid load into his ass after just a few rough thrusts and grunts. Still, he was almost too exhausted too pull out, so he left his half-hard shaft buried into Jason.

This time, though, he'd been in too much of a frenzy to worry about the young man's hard cock and aching balls. As Jason lay panting beneath him, still full from Dick's member and his seed, the younger man began to frantically pump his own erection, rubbing his thumb over the head. Dick was horrified and ashamed of himself as he felt him jerking his cock without his assistance, but was too drained to help. This continued, Dick feeling the man's chest expanding beneath him, until Jason's own come exploded into his hand and dripped between his fingers. They both lay like that for a long while, in silence, except for the sound of each of them panting for breath.

Eventually, once he had gone completely soft, Dick pulled out of his lover and sighed loudly at the sensation. His cock twitched, but luckily didn't get hard again.

After swallowing hard, sucking down most of his anxiety and shame, Dick finally told the man, "This is the last time."

"Oh, come on, Dick," Jason groaned. "You always say that."

"I mean it this time."

"You always mean it."

"I'm serious, Jay," the older man sighed. "This has to stop."

"Alright, fine," Dick replied, not believing him in the least. "Will you at least give me a good reason why?"

Dick rolled away, flopping onto his back with his head on the pillow, and stared up at the ceiling. _The best thing to do,_ he reasoned, _is to be honest. Just tell him. He needs to know._ But, of course, it was easier said than done.

Sensing that the other man was growing agitated and impatient, he finally answered, "I'm seeing Barbara. I have been for a long time. I've been trying to stop this. I've been trying to tell you, but you… You wouldn't listen."

Deadly silence hung between them as Jason sat up and swung his legs out of the bed, staring out the window at the brightness of the moon that seemed to be mocking his misfortune.

After a while, he simply said, "Get out," stood up, walked over to the window, and placed his hands on the sill as he looked out into the night, wondering if anyone else was experiencing the same shock and pain as he was.

Dick pulled his boxers back on, then his worn, faded jeans and loose white T-shirt, and left silently, closing the door quietly behind him.

He'd been seeing the computer specialist for just over four months, and she'd already given him a key to her apartment. Since she'd been expecting him, despite his hesitation and desire just to be alone, Dick made his way to her place and arrived around one in the morning. The walk was long and tedious, and the weight on his mind nearly crushed him, more than any villain ever had. By the time he reached her building, he was feeling more than just the weight of his confession. He was feeling frustration. More importantly, he was feeling anger. At himself, at Jason for not listening to him when he tried to end their affair, at everyone.

He turned the lock on the door to her apartment with a weary, heavy sigh and opened it slowly. To his surprise, not only did he find her still awake, but he found her sitting on the couch with the TV on, wearing nothing but a skimpy pair of panties. Dick's breath caught in his chest as he stared at her. Regardless of his current emotions, a beautiful woman was a beautiful woman, and he was certainly a man, which meant that he was easily captivated by her bare breasts, which were illuminated in the darkness of the living room only by the light of the television.

"Jesus, Dick!" she snapped, finally sensing his presence.

He'd entered noiselessly, as was customary for a man of his occupation, and Barbara was startled by his sudden appearance in the room, though she was used to that kind of behavior. It was a bad habit of Dick's that she accepted willingly.

"You said I didn't have to knock," he said flatly, stepping closer, his eyes raking over her body, from her lips to her ankles.

She sighed, pushed a hand through her hair, then asked, "You tired? You must be."

"Nah," he replied slowly. "I'm never tired."

"Well, that's a hunk of bullshit," the woman laughed, shaking her head as she looked up and watched the lie displayed all over his face. "Was your night alright? I mean, you're not bleeding this time, so there's that, at least."

Her earnest, understanding smile eased his nerves slightly, but it didn't settle the guilt that upset his stomach. It wasn't as though he didn't always feel guilty after leaving his lover and coming home to her. He did. But this time, it was different. This time, he felt guilty for leaving Jason as well. Even though their encounters had begun on the premise of a purely sexual nature and an agreement to stay out of each other's business, he felt as though he should have told the man sooner and been up front about his relationship with the woman they were both close to. That he should have honest about his reasons for wanting to stop engaging in their physical relationship. That being the case, Dick's anxieties were only somewhat soothed by Barb's warm welcome.

But Barbara could sense that something was wrong, even if she didn't know what it was, without him having to give an answer. This made Dick nervous, but he also knew that she trusted him completely, and that the thought of him having affair would never have crossed her mind. This comforted him to a degree, but at the same time, it made him feel worse. _She trusts me,_ he scolded himself. _You're a fool, Dick. You should leave her and spare her the trouble of being with such a pathetic low-life._

The pull of Barb's charm, and his desire to please her, however, kept him from leaving or telling the truth. Instead, he allowed her to believe the best of him – not out of malicious intent, but out of a longing to spare her from pain.

When she interrupted his thoughts by saying his name, he snapped out of his trance and looked down at her, saying, "Huh?"

"I asked if your night was alright, and when you didn't answer me, I told you that I understood, and that I wanted you to take me to bed."

"Oh. Sorry. I was… I was somewhere else," he admitted, but refrained from telling her exactly where.

"I think you need to relax, babe," she told him with a smile. "And I'm pretty sure I know how to make that happen."

She was right. She was always right. She knew him, and that only made things worse. She knew him almost as well as Jason knew him. She just hadn't seen his dark side yet. Eventually, she'd find out. He knew that. But still, he prayed she never would, and that she would always only see the goodness in him. Truthfully, he realized, she was too kind to him. He didn't deserve it.

 _I should tell her_ , he told himself. _Right now._

But when she reached up to grab his hand, he realized that he couldn't. The pull was too strong for him to turn away from. Just like the pull to Jason was too strong to resist. When he took a step closer, she offered him a smile, and he tried to give one back, but couldn't seem to do that either. Instead, he bent down and lifted her into his arms, bridal style, and carried her into the bedroom, laying her down in the middle of the bed and standing beside it as he watched her looking up at him.

"What's the matter, baby?" she asked softly, reaching for his hand again.

When he didn't respond or grip her hand in return, she pulled away and dropped her hands to her hips, slipping her fingers beneath the thin waistband of her panties. She pulled them down just enough for him to see everything, and it was enough for him to push through his guilt as he got hard again. She could see it through his jeans, which she loved. Knowing what she did to him turned her on and got her ready for what they were about to do. Watching him slowly remove his clothes and pull out his pulsing cock did it for her too. He didn't even have to touch her to get her going. Almost always, by the time he climbed on top of her, she was already soaked and ready for him.

Dick undressed faster than usual, his eyes locked on his lover's naked form as he swiftly pulled off his shirt and jerked his pants and boxers down in one quick tug. After pulling her panties the rest of the way off, he hastily spread her legs – since her accident, she hated having her thighs touched – and positioned himself so that he was kneeling between her legs. After lifting her thighs to give himself better access, he felt his face grow hot with emotion as he slammed into her. Luckily, that night was no exception to the way she grew slick from anticipation just watching his erection emerge from his pants. Physically, she might have been ready to take him into her, but she was shocked and surprised at the force he used, and she cried out as his heavy, muscular form slammed into her. Usually, he was gentle when the two made love, knowing that he was big enough to hurt her if he wasn't careful, always making sure to finish her before rolling over and promptly succumbing to sleep, but that night, he was insatiable.

The anger and frustration in his veins fueled his arousal, and his grunts became louder and more primal as he thrust into her. His length and width pounded into her, and she cried out every time his cock plunged back into her core, but he didn't stop until it became too much for her to bear and she reached up to push him away. Even then, he thrust twice more, fast and strong, and came hard inside her, his thighs and body shaking as his come mixed with her fluids. That was his favorite part of being with a woman. The softness of it. The slickness of it. Lube wasn't the same. It wasn't hot, the way her core was. The fluids were _hers,_ and when his seed mixed with them, he marked her as his own.

Even so, with his last few thrusts, Dick's thoughts turned to Jason, and the way he claimed the tightness of the younger boy's ass as they fucked. The way their sex was hard and desperate. Painful. Perfect. Forbidden.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he looked down and saw tears on his lover's cheeks. His eyes instantly went wide with the realization of what he'd done, and he gasped out a quick, "Barb, I'm sorry!" before leaning in to wipe the wetness away.

"Jesus, Dick," she breathed. "Where the fuck did that come from?"

"I'm sorry. I…"

"No. It's… It's okay… I just… Since when do you like it rough?"

"I… I guess it was pent-up energy. It was a long night."

This wasn't a lie, at least. It had been a long night. Once again, though, he'd succeeded in pleasing himself and failed at pleasing his lover. In fact, in his frenzy of pained arousal, he'd carelessly forgotten about his lover's orgasm. Unlike hours before, where he'd simply been too tired to expend the effort, this time, he was just too distracted and wrapped up in his own savage desires. They weren't making love that time. It was plain, raw, emotionless fucking.

"It's okay, babe," Barbara said slowly, reaching up to touch his face. "I was just surprised. I'm not sure I was prepared for you to be such an animal."

"I'm _really_ sorry," he sighed, looking down into her eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I got… excited… and carried away."

"I saw that," his lover giggled, smoothing her hands through his hair, which was getting longer every day and was almost in his eyes now. "But you don't have to apologize. Seeing you get so… worked up… it was hot. I've never seen you that insatiable before. I love that you want me like that."

"I…" Dick started, but found himself at a loss for words. Instead, he just muttered, "We should get to bed. Bruce is going to want you at the cave early tomorrow."

"What? Why?"

"We've got a few new cases which we need some things analyzed for," he told her honestly. "I don't want you to be tired tomorrow."

"What about you?"

"I told you," he replied, finally forcing a smile. "I don't get tired."

The next morning, when the group met at the Batcave, Jason stared at Dick, and the older man could see clearly, even through the mask, that his gaze was dark and angry. Even their fearless leader noticed.

"What's the matter with you, Todd?" Batman snapped, glaring at Jason.

"Nothing," the man grumbled, crossing his arms and turning his gaze on Oracle.

Barbara, oblivious to the furious stare, continued to focus on the screen in front of her as the Batman barked out orders and pointed at the display, demanding immediate answers to analyses that took time and patience to complete.

"Back off, Bruce," Dick finally cut in, putting his hand on the Bat's shoulder. "She's going as fast as she can."

Barb turned around to flash him a warm smile, but Bruce scowled at them both, and Jason joined him in glaring. It disgusted him to see the two of them together. Even though their agreement had been for the relationship to be purely physical, if he was honest with himself, he had to admit that he'd grown attached to the older man. Dick understood him better than anyone, and that was what hurt the most. He was sure that he could have sensed it, the emotional attraction he was beginning to feel, on top of the physical one that had developed well before that.

They'd gotten too close, and Jason realized that now, but what was he going to do about it? Tell Barb about their affair to ruin their relationship him out of spite? No. Even through his anger, he wanted to see his friend happy. Even if it hurt. Even if it meant the end of _their_ relationship. Still, it was a huge disappointment, to say the very least, and it was a massive distraction. Three times, he had to ask, 'What?' in response to something their leader had said, which only served to make Bruce angry too. Now, not only was he impatient, but he was pissed off as well, which rubbed off on all of them. Even Barb was getting irritated with the men around her, and snapped at all of them a few times when they started to bicker.

When Bruce finally gave the order to head out, separate, and investigate different elements of the case, Robin and Nightwing found themselves alone together as they mounted their bikes near the exit of the hideout. They were completely out of earshot of anyone else, since the sounds of their words – or any other noises – would be drowned out by the large stream of water pouring down from above them.

"So I see you have to rescue your precious Oracle from our fearless leader. You know, since she can't defend herself against the big, bad Bat," Jason taunted, the scowl seemingly permanent on his face.

"Shut up, Jason," Dick spat. "She does fine on her own. He was just being an asshole. Kind of like you right now."

"Whatever. At least I'm an _honest_ asshole."

"Oh, come on, Jay. Don't-"

"Don't fucking call me Jay!"

"What the hell, man! I've been calling you Jay since we met!"

"Yeah, well… It's cute, and I don't want you to fucking be cute with me anymore."

"Jason…"

"Stop it! Just stop. You made your choice, okay? I get it."

"Jay-bird," Dick sighed. "I tried to tell you. I tried to leave. You wouldn't let me. You didn't want to hear it."

"You're right. I didn't. I knew something had changed, for real, but I was in denial. I should have let you go, but now it's too fucking late and I'm in too deep to just let you walk away."

"Jason."

With his own heavy sigh, the younger man said, "One more ride for old time's sake, then?"

"Alright," Dick replied with a shrug, revving the engine of his bike. "Where to?"

"No, idiot. Not the bike. Me."

"Oh. OH! Jason… No. I can't. I can't do this to Barb anymore. I-"

"Richard John Grayson. Stop the bullshit. You don't love her. You just feel guilty." Before Dick could protest, Jason added, "Don't lie to me, Dickie."

"I… I do lo-" he tried, but couldn't finish the sentence.

Jason was right. He cared for Barbara. Deeply, even. But the most it was, was an intimate, sexual friendship. He was attracted to her, yes, but when he said, 'I love you,' he didn't feel it. Instead, he pictured the man who had taken his place as The Boy Wonder. He'd never said the words to Jason, at least not out loud, not even in a brotherly way, but Dick knew the words were true nonetheless. It seemed like Jason knew it too.

"You don't," the younger man cut in, pushing a hand through his spikey black hair. "I know you don't. I see the way you look at her. You care for her. We both do. But you don't love her that way."

"I'm not leaving her," Dick blurted out defiantly, his voice shaky.

"Fine. But you owe me for all the bullshit you put me through just to be with her."

"What do you want from me, then?"

"You know what I want."

"What?"

"I told you. One last ride."

When the older man didn't respond, Jason undid the clasp of his cape and began to unzip his suit, exposing his muscular chest. Dick's hands twitched at his sides as he watched, but he remained still while he sat on his bike. Jason took the opportunity to show the man what he'd be missing, standing up and sliding out of the suit completely, then pulling his boxers off. His cock was only half-hard, but as he watched Dick's eyes grow wide beneath his mask, his erection grew in appreciation for the surprised reaction it was getting. Dick felt his own grow in response.

When Jason saw the bulge between his legs, beneath his suit, he said, "There. I knew you wanted it."

"I _can't,_ Jason."

"But you're going to anyway, aren't you?" the younger man asked as he reached down and absently stroked his own shaft.

"Stop it, Jay," Dick protested, tearing his eyes away from the scene, but they were quickly drawn back to the man's pulsing member.

"Just come here, you fuckhead."

With that, Jason approached him and grabbed his hands, pulling them both closer until they were touching the hardness of his cock.

"Jason!"

"Richard!" the younger man taunted, grinning broadly as he held Dick's hands exactly where they were.

When he looked down as saw the pre-come glistening on the head of Jason's shaft, the man who had taken up the cowl as Nightwing groaned and shut his eyes. Jason took this as an invitation and pushed his hips forward so that he was pressed harder against the hero's hands. As soon as he felt the fluid smear onto his palm, Dick reflexively squeezed the man's member and slowly opened his eyes.

Jason panted as the other man worked up a steady pace, then finally managed to gasp out, "Take your clothes off."

Reluctant to remove his touch from his lover's throbbing cock but longing to free his own from the constrictions of the tightly-fitted fabric, Dick obeyed and quickly peeled the suit from his body and stepped out of it, leaving him naked, except for his mask. Jason pushed him hard until he stumbled and fell onto his back on the solid ground, then straddled his hips. Since Dick was still sitting up, the younger man's hard shaft pressed against his abdomen as the older man's stood erect and rubbed the cheeks of Jason's ass.

"I knew you'd get hard," Jason told him. "I can always make you hard."

Weak from dizzying arousal, Dick nodded his head and gripped the man's hips, pulling down on them to create friction against his hard-on, which also served to rub Jason's hard-on against his solid abs. They both groaned in unison at the sensation, and Dick's eyes quickly fell shut as he tried to process what was happening. _I should stop. I need to stop,_ he was thinking, but his sex-drive won out and kept him from pushing the younger man away. Jason was eager to please, to remind the man exactly why they'd started their relationship in the first place, but he was also desperate for release, so he rubbed himself against Dick's body to gain more stimulation, until more pre-come oozed from the tip of his member, and he knew he needed more.

He quickly began to dismount the other hero. Not only was Dick reluctant to have the pressure removed, he was able to take a hint. He crawled on top of Jason as the man laid himself flat on the ground and slid his cock between the man's muscular thighs, his own pre-come wiping on the man's skin as he did so. He repeated this motion a few times, rubbing the tip of his shaft over the crack of Jason's ass until the man was panting with anticipation.

"Do it, Dickie. Fuck me. One more time."

 _One more time,_ Dick told himself. _Just one._

He pushed in slowly, dipping the head of his cock in first, then pulling it out, partly to tease himself, and partly to tease his lover.

The pleasure out-won the pain of Dick's hard-on moving inside him without lubrication, and it earned a cry of, "Dick, come on!" from the younger man, and he couldn't help but smile as he pushed back in, even slower.

At a painstaking pace, he finally filled the young man fully and had buried his entire length inside him. Only then did he begin to move in and out, carefully working up a steady rhythm. Unlike the night before, as Jason raised his hips to meet his thrusts, he used one hand to hold the man close and the other to wrap around his front and pump his shaft. Jason cried out from the very first stroke, surprised by the man's attention to his pleasure. The feeling of being filled and having his cock stimulated at the same was enough to make his legs shake.

This time, Jason actually came first, having nearly been pushed over the edge already by the intense building of anticipation. He shot his seed all over Dick's fingertips, which were teasing and fondling the head of his shaft when he came, and sighed heavily as he nearly collapsed beneath the weight of his lover's thrusts. A few more of these rough, heavy movements brought Dick to the edge of his own arousal, and the little grunts Jason was letting out each time he shoved back in pushed him over into orgasm. The younger man let out a gasp as Dick buried his hot, sputtering load inside him. The older man thrust a few more times, slowly, and dug his nails into Jason's hips as he pulled them back to bury himself deeper than he ever had, shaking as the last of his come spilled out and his orgasm sputtered to an end.

"Jason," Dick moaned, collapsing on top of him, his cheek pressed against the man's shoulder blade.

"Don't leave me, Dickie," the man breathed in response, as a few hot, painful tears slid down his cheeks. "I..."

Surprised at this emotional response, Dick sighed and rubbed his hands, still sticky from Jason's come, gently up and down the man's sides to comfort him.

Then, he whispered softly, "I know, Jay-bird. I love you too."


End file.
